3/14/2023 0 Comments What's not to Love?
Discover the truth that all is Love by relating to all lovingly. When we suspend judgment and offer every element of our experience unconditional Attention, Acceptance, Appreciation, Affection, and Allowing, we open ourselves to the Love that permeates and surrounds us. The default human operating system is designed to ensure survival, which includes a strong negativity bias, putting us on the lookout for what's wrong, amiss, troublesome, dangerous, lacking, insufficient, unrewarding, uncomfortable, untrustworthy, etc. This despite the fact that we live in a time of unprecedented abundance of resources and physical safety. Isn't it time to courageously venture out and treat every experience as gift?
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Throughout childhood most everyone had to adapt to environments and conditions they could not control. Seeking security we adopted identities and ways of navigating the world that could be counted on to satisfy our wants and needs, or those of others to whom we deferred. Often there is a great deal of comfort in confining oneself to what is most familiar, until we sense a need for change, which requires courage to forego comfort and step into uncertainty.
Sense into some of the qualities embodied by leaders you admire and how those virtues are used to inspire others. Consider the possibility that you too can provide leadership simply by recognizing your capacity to uniquely express similar virtues and values when interacting with others. Simply being authentic and sharing one's perspective can be the starting place for building a base of self confidence from which additional steps are taken with increasing ease.
Operating from a mindset of abundance and interconnectedness we can discover that gratitude, service to others, and generosity promote greater abundance, security, and self fulfillment. Start with family, friends, neighbors, and local community members. Notice what feelings come up as you do so, both in you and in others. If the point of capitalism was to share and redistribute wealth and resources rather than accumulate them perhaps the large majority of participants would operate in similar fashion, working together for the common good.
2/28/2023 0 Comments February 28th, 2023
A mindset built upon perceptions of scarcity, inadequacy, or deficiency in combination with self-centered individualism results in greed. In our current upside down economic system wealth is extracted from workers and consumers to enrich corporations and businesses who then invest in more ways to continue to accumulate wealth. It reminds me of the game Monopoly, which ended up in disappointment for all but one player. We are told by those who trust in capitalism that there are no other good alternatives, so what can we do? In the case of Monopoly we declared the game over, everyone returned accumulated assets, then they were divided up equally to start a new game. If wealth was periodically redistributed within our economic system, perhaps the game could go on and lessen the rewards for being greedy.
Most of us have an inner critic that delivers negative self talk. The sources of the messages and the tone with which they are delivered are important to discover and understand, as they are replays of past recordings, meaning that they continue to have power over us only as long as we believe them. When we were young, vulnerable, and lacked boundaries, we took on or made up beliefs about ourselves that were not true but reflected others' judgments and feelings about us or what we most feared. As adults we now have the power to disbelieve them and contradict them to reflect what is really true about us, and others.
Anger is an energetic, emotional response to some type of uncomfortable feeling, physical or emotional, including pain, illness, rejection, threat, loss, grief, disappointment, etc), or anticipation of such a feeling. Yet uncomfortable feelings alone are not the cause. Triggering thoughts, especially judgments or perceptions of potential or real harm, threat, or vulnerability are also required. The thought can be as simple as a memory of a seemingly related experience, or expectation of one.
The energy of anger motivates action to deal with the threat or the associated feelings. This urge wants to change something, so it seeks a target, outside or inside. The action chosen can take a wide range of forms with a wide range of results, both constructive and destructive. Anger can also be a substitute emotion for uncomfortable feelings, a form of distraction in which a choice, conscious or unconscious, is made to get angry rather than feel pain/discomfort or feel helpless and powerless in relation to it. Utilizing anger can promote an attention shift - from self-focus to other-focus, providing a false sense of power, protection and control. Getting angry may serve to reduce feelings of fear and vulnerability by transferring them to something or someone else, thus putting another person in the victim role. In addition to providing a good smoke screen for feelings of vulnerability, anger also offers a false sense of power, righteousness, and moral superiority to make up for a lack of self-esteem. â Many of us have been encouraged to deny, repress, or hide many uncomfortable feelings and vulnerabilities by transforming them into anger, yet at deep levels they persist. Not fully facing and befriending them limits our full expression of aliveness, interferes with all our relationships, and undermines our health and wellbeing.
The human mind-body operating system embodies life experience of by cross linking elements of thought, feeling, and action. Awareness of how we operate is the doorway into understanding ourselves and relationships with others. We unawarely took on a sense of self-identity and storyline that we reflexively operate within, a brilliant design of evolution, that helps us survive under familiar conditions. Yet our minds also possess the amazing capacity to be self aware and self reflect, in other words observe the thoughts, feelings, and actions it is generating. This provides us with abilities to adapt, adjust, or change how we operate, i.e. shift into new ways of thinking, feeling, and acting, when challenged by the unfamiliar.
Shift out of reflexively operating and drop into self awareness by breathing slowly and deeply while noticing thoughts, feelings, and actions as they come and go.
Our mind's default operating system is driven by fear - of not being safe, not mattering, and not belonging. It instinctively looks for what's wrong in order to take action to address problems. By stepping outside of this insecure mindset and adopting virtuous practices, we may find that human beings are expressions of LOVE.
2020 is an important year to begin thinking differently about addressing public and private challenges. Every months word images are devoted to raising awareness about the fluid nature of personal and consensual reality.
Take charge of your perception of present moment reality by slowing down, breathing slowly, and affirming that you are OK as you are, even though you may be having some insecure thoughts, feelings or bodily reactions, which tend to feel uncomfortable. The more we can acknowledge and tolerate such discomfort, and see it as normal and healthy, the more present we can be for ourselves and others. Over time, practicing a positive mindset will result in less and less regression and reactivity during stressful situations.
We are born into the world with survival instincts that revolve around seemingly insatiable needs to be physically secure, to have value or purpose, and to belong to a community. As we grow and develop, these basic insecurities serve as drives to adapt in order to satisfy these needs. In the process we develop strengths, talents, skills, capabilities, achievements, and relationships that are useful for individual and group survival. And yet, when stressed or threatened, we easily revert back to primitive feelings of vulnerability and reactive thought and behavior patterns that are typical of early childhood. This can be especially problematic during relationship challenges when both parties are feeling insecure.
Abundance within our communities is best created and sustained through generosity and gratitude, which are based in loving. Greed, individualism, and economic exploitation, usually generated by fear of scarcity, eventually drain the common wealth.
By offering unconditional love to all your thoughts, feelings, and actions, in the forms shown in the 5 step pyramid above, you begin to rebuild or enhance your sense of self. It is even possible to rebuild your relationship to your child self by recalling distant memories and imagining your present day self appearing to offer compassionate support during situations where it was needed but lacking. Repeating such a visualization many times enables you to re-parent yourself.
The more your identity is attached to what is familiar to you, the harder it is to experience today and tomorrow without being under the influence of your past. By becoming the observer of your thoughts, feelings, and actions, you can begin to appreciate how the large majority of them are arising in relation to past, and not present, experience. Who are you, if not the storyline that orients you to your world. What would it be like to step beyond it? What becomes possible?
Something special happens when you are able to fully open to the unity of being and experience true bliss, which is infinite, and not a feeling or emotion.
The human mind is designed to look for problems to solve, so it leans toward dissatisfaction with what is, including oneself and others. When we stop taking this mind bias seriously we can entertain the possibility that nothing is missing.
The essence of life is Love. The human experience begins with emotional interaction with whatever is encountered that can provide sustenance. We all grow and unfold as unique expressions of the Love we are.
Relating to whatever is being experienced as precious gift is life-enhancing. Remembering this can be challenging. Practicing it daily helps to ingrain it.
The human mind creates our "experiences" by linking processes of thought, feeling, and action which take place in different parts of the brain. Mindfulness practices and self-reflection can help us recognize how we create and maintain false personal "realities" or story lines, and open doorways to transformation.
Judging, calculating, mechanistic mind works well in the realm of the familiar.
Playful, intuitive, dreaming mind is better when we step outside what is known. Value the advantages of each, and learn to shift operating systems as needed. Our 3 deepest fears are that we are not safe, we do not matter, and that we do not belong. Fear drives us to address these essential needs in some way and to be on the lookout for any threats to their not being met. Perceptions that our security needs are being met bring satisfaction and pride, while indications they are not being met brings angst and shame. To ensure survival of our species, our brains evolved a heightened sensitivity to insecurity fears, a strong propensity (bias) to be suspicious, doubting, or go negative. That is why it is important to counterbalance this leaning by noticing and appreciating all evidence that we are safe, secure, and connected. Practicing gratitude works.
Curious? Give it a look-see now at: psychimages.com
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