INNER LIFE CIRCLES:
a self liberating group practice using body centered self inquiry
INTRODUCTION:
There is nothing inherently difficult, tricky, or secret about body centered self inquiry --- it is simply compassionate self awareness and reflection conducted with an attitude of unconditional acceptance and appreciation, meaning each and every expression of your being is welcomed and valued. Focusing, when done in pairs or groups, is the technique I have found most effective in strengthening one's presence, minimizing interference by thoughts, and maximizing authentic inner expression. When one sits back and patiently waits for something to arise from inside, there is no need for a starting place or agenda, anything can show up as it arises. There is, indeed, a whole world waiting to be discovered within.
So, get together for a couple hours with a few friends and, rather than engaging in your customary socializing, activities, distractions or entertainment, try out the Inner Life Circles model. Many of us think nothing of going to a movie, show, play, or game for a couple hours to observe or witness something. You may find that observing others doing their inner work is at least as interesting and even more gratifying, and a heck of a lot less expensive. There's a good chance you'll discover new, unexpected, things about yourself and each other.
GET TOGETHER AND DROP INWARD ---- YOU ARE WORTH IT!
PURPOSE:
Individuals getting together in groups to deepen self-awareness and promote wholeness through the practice of giving and receiving attention with an attitude of unconditional regard and radical acceptance. A safe, welcoming environment supports each person to explore and express one’s present time inner experience, instead of relating via customary patterns of social interaction and dialogue. The format utilized for self exploration in Inner Life Circles is adapted from the peer counseling technique known as Focusing:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Focusing ; http://www.focusing.org/ ; http://www.focusingresources.com/
ORGANIZATION:
Formation of a group of respectful participants who take turns exploring their present-time inner experience with the intention of deepen understanding of self and others, applying the basic rules and principles described below.
Meetings can be held at any comfortable, quiet, private location of the group’s choosing. Circles that outgrow their meeting space can divide to start one or more new circles.
Begin with a core group of capable, motivated individuals, who learn and master the basic rules and principles (see below) to a degree where their circle can provide a safe and supportive atmosphere for welcoming new members. It is suggested that experienced participants always be present to help guide and support new and inexperienced members.
BASIC RULES & PRINCIPLES:
There is nothing inherently difficult, tricky, or secret about body centered self inquiry --- it is simply compassionate self awareness and reflection conducted with an attitude of unconditional acceptance and appreciation, meaning each and every expression of your being is welcomed and valued. Focusing, when done in pairs or groups, is the technique I have found most effective in strengthening one's presence, minimizing interference by thoughts, and maximizing authentic inner expression. When one sits back and patiently waits for something to arise from inside, there is no need for a starting place or agenda, anything can show up as it arises. There is, indeed, a whole world waiting to be discovered within.
So, get together for a couple hours with a few friends and, rather than engaging in your customary socializing, activities, distractions or entertainment, try out the Inner Life Circles model. Many of us think nothing of going to a movie, show, play, or game for a couple hours to observe or witness something. You may find that observing others doing their inner work is at least as interesting and even more gratifying, and a heck of a lot less expensive. There's a good chance you'll discover new, unexpected, things about yourself and each other.
GET TOGETHER AND DROP INWARD ---- YOU ARE WORTH IT!
PURPOSE:
Individuals getting together in groups to deepen self-awareness and promote wholeness through the practice of giving and receiving attention with an attitude of unconditional regard and radical acceptance. A safe, welcoming environment supports each person to explore and express one’s present time inner experience, instead of relating via customary patterns of social interaction and dialogue. The format utilized for self exploration in Inner Life Circles is adapted from the peer counseling technique known as Focusing:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Focusing ; http://www.focusing.org/ ; http://www.focusingresources.com/
ORGANIZATION:
Formation of a group of respectful participants who take turns exploring their present-time inner experience with the intention of deepen understanding of self and others, applying the basic rules and principles described below.
Meetings can be held at any comfortable, quiet, private location of the group’s choosing. Circles that outgrow their meeting space can divide to start one or more new circles.
Begin with a core group of capable, motivated individuals, who learn and master the basic rules and principles (see below) to a degree where their circle can provide a safe and supportive atmosphere for welcoming new members. It is suggested that experienced participants always be present to help guide and support new and inexperienced members.
BASIC RULES & PRINCIPLES:
- Whatever is demonstrated, expressed, and shared is voluntary (fully under the control of each individual).
- Whatever one shares is not subject to question, comment, or discussion without that person’s permission.
- Whatever is shared during each meeting is confidential and not to be shared with anyone else.
- The inherent value/worth of each person is unconditional and undeniable.
- Every person’s presence and what they contribute matter.
- Everyone has the right to inhabit/protect their own safe and secure physical space/body.
- Points of view and ways of experiencing and expressing reality are unique to each individual.
- The value and worth of each individual is honored through respectful communication (no exceptions).
- Listening and sharing are skills that can improve through awareness and practice.
- Respectful listening means witnessing without interrupting, suggesting, advising, or fixing.
- Deeper connection with self & others is facilitated by anchoring one’s self in the body in present time.
- Love, offered as unconditional attention, acceptance, allowing, affection and appreciation (5 A’s), facilitates self exploration.
- Expressing how one is affected or moved by another is a form of gratitude that can enhance connection.
- Mistakes are welcomed as necessary & valuable ingredients in the process of human learning.
Background and Focusing Technique
Inner Life Circles is based on my 30+ years experience participating in and leading groups doing inner work to make changes in their lives and connect more deeply with themselves and others.
Through observations and experience I have developed the concept of Inner Life Circles, peer-led groups where inquisitive, body-centered, awareness is practiced as a means of self discovery.
The most critical ingredients in the success of such a process seem to be:
Meeting environment and rules
For individuals to experiment with something new, personal, and revealing in the company of others, they need to know the process will be safe, respectful, and private. Hence, meetings should be held where privacy can be assured and distractions eliminated. All attendees must agree to maintain strict confidentiality, never sharing anyone else’s processes or identities without their expressed permission. Rules of interaction and communication during the meeting acknowledge and reinforce the value, worth, and uniqueness of each individual.
Listening and quieting skills
Defensiveness, self consciousness, and performance anxiety limit our ability to calm down and fully listen. Grounding in present time through breathing awareness, sensing one’s body, and noticing self-talk seems to increase the capacity for simply being present and listening to others, as well as to self. Also important is repeatedly emphasizing the fact that the process of self exploration involves being a neutral observer instead of actively making something happen analyzing, or problem solving.
Developing presence (attention, acceptance, and appreciation)
A welcoming, inviting, compassionate atmosphere provides the atmosphere needed to support individuals in revealing their inner worlds. According to David Richo, the elements of unconditional attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing (“5 A’s”) are necessary in loving relationships. By practicing giving and receiving the “5 A’s” with each other, group members strengthen the sense of loving presence necessary to relate to anything encountered within themselves and other. For more about David Richo’s work go to http://www.davericho.com
Focusing as a practice for self discovery (More info: http://www.focusing.org)
Focusing is a technique for facilitating inner work that is attaining growing worldwide acceptance and usage. It is a gentle, compassionate, reverent form of body-centered self exploration that can be practiced alone, in pairs, or in groups. The process is best learned from direct experience or demonstration rather than written explanation. During a session of Focusing, the individual senses inward and invites something inside to arise into awareness, and, as it does, relates to it from an all inclusive Self-in-presence grounded in the “5 A’s”. Through the process of acknowledging, welcoming, observing, and listening to whatever seeks attention from within, the individual experiences it freshly as a “felt sense, “ thereby allowing it unfold and to be reintegrated in a new way, described as a “felt shift.” A brief description of the roles taken by the Focuser and the Focuser’s companion (reflective listener) are outlined below.
FOCUSER:
COMPANION (REFLECTIVE LISTENER):
Assembling a core group to welcome new participants
Identifying and recruiting a core group of members experienced in practicing inner work is helpful in moving new participants into the process of inner work more smoothly and seamlessly. Before inviting new members, it is advisable for the core group to discuss and practice the rules, principles, and skills sufficiently to forge a sense of fellowship, shared purpose, and common understanding. When the core group confidently models all of the critical elements describe above, new participants will sense being welcomed, supported, and respected.
Inner Life Circles is based on my 30+ years experience participating in and leading groups doing inner work to make changes in their lives and connect more deeply with themselves and others.
Through observations and experience I have developed the concept of Inner Life Circles, peer-led groups where inquisitive, body-centered, awareness is practiced as a means of self discovery.
The most critical ingredients in the success of such a process seem to be:
- providing a safe, secure, welcoming, inclusive environment.
- adhering to rules of respectful interaction and communication.
- developing skills at being fully present and listening.
- practicing unconditional attention, acceptance, and appreciation.
- using Focusing or Internal Family Systems techniques for body centered, peer supported, self reflection and inquiry.
- assembling a highly supportive core group to model techniques and guide new participants
Meeting environment and rules
For individuals to experiment with something new, personal, and revealing in the company of others, they need to know the process will be safe, respectful, and private. Hence, meetings should be held where privacy can be assured and distractions eliminated. All attendees must agree to maintain strict confidentiality, never sharing anyone else’s processes or identities without their expressed permission. Rules of interaction and communication during the meeting acknowledge and reinforce the value, worth, and uniqueness of each individual.
Listening and quieting skills
Defensiveness, self consciousness, and performance anxiety limit our ability to calm down and fully listen. Grounding in present time through breathing awareness, sensing one’s body, and noticing self-talk seems to increase the capacity for simply being present and listening to others, as well as to self. Also important is repeatedly emphasizing the fact that the process of self exploration involves being a neutral observer instead of actively making something happen analyzing, or problem solving.
Developing presence (attention, acceptance, and appreciation)
A welcoming, inviting, compassionate atmosphere provides the atmosphere needed to support individuals in revealing their inner worlds. According to David Richo, the elements of unconditional attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing (“5 A’s”) are necessary in loving relationships. By practicing giving and receiving the “5 A’s” with each other, group members strengthen the sense of loving presence necessary to relate to anything encountered within themselves and other. For more about David Richo’s work go to http://www.davericho.com
Focusing as a practice for self discovery (More info: http://www.focusing.org)
Focusing is a technique for facilitating inner work that is attaining growing worldwide acceptance and usage. It is a gentle, compassionate, reverent form of body-centered self exploration that can be practiced alone, in pairs, or in groups. The process is best learned from direct experience or demonstration rather than written explanation. During a session of Focusing, the individual senses inward and invites something inside to arise into awareness, and, as it does, relates to it from an all inclusive Self-in-presence grounded in the “5 A’s”. Through the process of acknowledging, welcoming, observing, and listening to whatever seeks attention from within, the individual experiences it freshly as a “felt sense, “ thereby allowing it unfold and to be reintegrated in a new way, described as a “felt shift.” A brief description of the roles taken by the Focuser and the Focuser’s companion (reflective listener) are outlined below.
FOCUSER:
- Decides whether or not to describe an issue to be addressed in the session.
- Slows down and senses body, first outer areas, then inside throat, chest, and belly.
- Notices and welcomes whatever arises inside.
- Describes whatever is being sensed (it) to the companion.
- Checks if the reflected description matches the bodily sense (it).
- Alters the description as needed till the reflection fits it just right.
- Notices if it is OK to allow it to be the way it is right now.
- Acknowledges and accepts anything that arises to limit or change it.
- Spends some time observing it with relaxed interest and curiosity.
- Gets a sense of how it feels from its point of view.
- Acknowledges and accepts its feelings and viewpoint.
- Appreciates it and invites it to relate more or change as it needs.
- Senses and welcomes anything else that needs attention (repeating above).
- Invites a fresh sense of how everything together feels inside right now.
- When time is almost up, checks inside to see if it's a good place to stop.
- Relates a willingness to revisit later and thanks body for its gifts and wisdom.
COMPANION (REFLECTIVE LISTENER):
- Checks to make sure setup is to Focuser's satisfaction.
- Discusses time duration for session and any other needs of Focuser.
- Gets comfortable, sensing own body and acknowledging own feelings.
- Offers to guide Focuser in settling in and sensing deeply into body.
- Gently invites Focuser to sense into and describe whatever arises.
- Pauses briefly before reflecting back Focuser's description of what is sensed:
- "You're sensing (or noticing, aware of) something in you is/feels............."
- Doesn't ask questions, make suggestions, interpret, or analyze.
- Allows plenty of silence and follows Focuser's process wherever it goes.
- Encourages awareness and acceptance of anything wanting to limit or change something. (For instance, if it is worried or fearful, ask it what it's not wanting).
- Gives notice when time is almost up.
- Enjoys the process of witnessing Focuser.
- Asks Focuser ways to have been an even better companion.
Assembling a core group to welcome new participants
Identifying and recruiting a core group of members experienced in practicing inner work is helpful in moving new participants into the process of inner work more smoothly and seamlessly. Before inviting new members, it is advisable for the core group to discuss and practice the rules, principles, and skills sufficiently to forge a sense of fellowship, shared purpose, and common understanding. When the core group confidently models all of the critical elements describe above, new participants will sense being welcomed, supported, and respected.
Sample schedule and topics for exploration
SAMPLE SCHEDULE
POSSIBLE TOPICS TO EXPLORE
SAMPLE SCHEDULE
- Large group welcoming with brief exercises to encourage embodiment and connection (15 min)
- Brief presentation and discussion of exploratory subject (20 min)
- Volunteer works in front of large group (20 min)
- Break (5 min)
- Small groups of 2 or 3 repeat exercise (45 to 65 min)
- Large group sharing of small group experiences (15 min)
- Interim suggestions and closing (5 min)
POSSIBLE TOPICS TO EXPLORE
- Anchoring oneself by slowing down, breathing, and noticing one’s bodily sensations.
- Listening, observing, sensing in the present moment (compare inward vs. outward awareness)
- Inherent value, worth, dignity, and respect as a starting place for all relationships (esp. self)
- Deciding to view and treat oneself with unconditional acceptance.
- Deciding to view and treat others with unconditional acceptance.
- The power of giving and receiving unconditional attention, acceptance, affection, & appreciation.
- Honoring & respecting the physical, emotional, and intellectual bodies/processes of self and others.
- Noticing one’s thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations without attaching to them.
- Being with someone else and their thoughts, feelings, and actions without trying to change them
- Welcoming whatever is arising in one’s awareness as a valued gift or an honored guest.
- Reflecting back whatever is being revealed and expressed to enhance the experience.
- Making room for a variety of viewpoints and conflicts within a whole situation
- Simply stating one’s reality (memories, thoughts, emotions, meanings, and needs)
- Bringing memories into present time awareness, noticing what arises, and being with the result.
- What children of all ages need to develop and flourish (reparenting suggestions)
- Using childhood memories to reveal sources of control strategies and defensive reactions
- Using childhood memories to uncover associated feelings/thoughts/beliefs/meanings
- Exploring the link between unfulfilled needs and “unpleasant” emotions
- Exploring the link between fulfilled needs and “pleasant” emotions
- Allowing ourselves and others the freedom to change, evolve, adapt, & experiment (be different)
- Exploring the underpinnings of our deepest longings, fears, and vulnerabilities
- Looking for source(s) of our habitual or compulsive attractions and repulsions
- Searching for the driving force(s) behind compulsive addictions, fantasies, and distractions.
- Welcoming the estranged and rejected with unconditional attention, acceptance, affection & appreciation.