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KID MESSAGE IDEAS
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Don't push me.... I'm doing the best I can!
Relax.... I'm doing the best I can! Relax. Breathe. We are all doing the best we can. I simply did it. Please don't ask me why! Working hard just to survive and thrive. Relax… Breathe… Calm parent needed. Lighten up, calm down, ... I'm just being a child! Imagine being my age with no previous experience. Just being myself. Not here to torment you. Self development in progress, try not to interfere. Acting my age….. Please act yours. Sure I get fussy..... This isn't as easy as it looks. My view of the world is much different than yours! Please don't take me so seriously... I'm just a child! Making plenty of mistakes…. It's how I learn. Expect mistakes --- it's how I learn Please don't saddle me with your expectations. Developing a mind of my own, not yours! Built for Love, not Fear or Shame My purpose as a child is not to meet your needs. My work is play. Not ready to take life seriously! I was not born to fulfill your expectations. Be curious about me, I didn't come with instructions. Help Wanted to: Keep me safe. Reflect my worth. Remind me I belong. |
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Expressing my emotions is necessary.... Please don't judge.
My emotions are all OK. Please don't take any personally.
Please don't expect my view of things to match yours.
Remember, my view of the world is much different than yours!
Adjusting to life on earth. That's what my fuss is about.
Learning to express myself…. Please be patient and accepting.
Please view my upset as my body's attempt to readjust.
I will walk and talk when I'm ready. Please don't rush me.
Self development zone ….. Expect progress, not perfection
Please don't burden me with your unresolved childhood issues.
Not here to absorb your personal doubts and insecurities.
My role as a child is to get my needs met, not meet yours.
Attention and affection show me I matter. Neglect hurts.
Limits and guidance do not require violence or shaming.
Really needy right now! Sorry for all the inconvenience!
Needed: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, & allowing.
My emotions are all OK. Please don't take any personally.
Please don't expect my view of things to match yours.
Remember, my view of the world is much different than yours!
Adjusting to life on earth. That's what my fuss is about.
Learning to express myself…. Please be patient and accepting.
Please view my upset as my body's attempt to readjust.
I will walk and talk when I'm ready. Please don't rush me.
Self development zone ….. Expect progress, not perfection
Please don't burden me with your unresolved childhood issues.
Not here to absorb your personal doubts and insecurities.
My role as a child is to get my needs met, not meet yours.
Attention and affection show me I matter. Neglect hurts.
Limits and guidance do not require violence or shaming.
Really needy right now! Sorry for all the inconvenience!
Needed: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, & allowing.
Built for Love Being (or Precious Being)
...... Uniquely!
...... Now and Always
...... Unconditionally
...... Handle with Care
...... Be Gentle -- my life depends on it
...... Patience required
...... Regardless of Mood
...... Totally innocent
...... Regardless of Feelings
...... Even on your Worst Day
...... Please don't forget it
...... Treat with Respect
...... Keep any fear and shame to yourself.
...... Not here to please you
...... not here to meet your needs
...... Not here to take care of your feelings
...... Just like you!
...... Don't impose your feelings on me
...... Worthy of protection, admiration, and affection.
...... And totally depending on you.
...... Acting my age! Please act yours!
...... Imperfectly Perfect and Perfectly Imperfect
...... Offering a gift every moment
...... Another unique expression of God.
...... A unique creation, not a possession.
...... Gift to all, property of no one.
...... Uniquely!
...... Now and Always
...... Unconditionally
...... Handle with Care
...... Be Gentle -- my life depends on it
...... Patience required
...... Regardless of Mood
...... Totally innocent
...... Regardless of Feelings
...... Even on your Worst Day
...... Please don't forget it
...... Treat with Respect
...... Keep any fear and shame to yourself.
...... Not here to please you
...... not here to meet your needs
...... Not here to take care of your feelings
...... Just like you!
...... Don't impose your feelings on me
...... Worthy of protection, admiration, and affection.
...... And totally depending on you.
...... Acting my age! Please act yours!
...... Imperfectly Perfect and Perfectly Imperfect
...... Offering a gift every moment
...... Another unique expression of God.
...... A unique creation, not a possession.
...... Gift to all, property of no one.
ADULT MESSAGE IDEAS
Self-Work Zone … Progress, not Perfection
Shedding personal distress, one false belief at a time
Taking responsibility for the reality I create
Redefining the meaning of Life Expectancy
Putting myself at the center of my life
Discovering the power of radical acceptance
Learning to pause, breathe & listen more... react less
Individually unique yet deeply connected to all
Deciding not to confuse self-worth with feelings
Accepting and valuing all parts of myself
Becoming more present by healing from the past
Learning not to take disagreements so personally
Valuing equally mistakes and successes!
Accepting all feelings instead of picking favorites
Remembering I am safe, I matter, and I belong
Giving up senseless reflexes to defend and control
Allowing others to have realities different than mine
Respect: the minimum standard for all relationships
Unconditional respect makes intimacy possible.
Another unique expression of Life Energy
Perfectly imperfect human being inside
STOP doing, LOOK inward, LISTEN patiently, BE aware, ACT wisely, STOP assuming, SENSE freshly, HEAR concerns, BE curious, HOLD steady, STEP forward, STOP striving, SEE beyond, LISTEN silently, BE attuned, STEP beyond, STOP doubting, LOOK anew, BE open, FEEL into, STEP across, SEEK truth
Shedding personal distress, one false belief at a time
Taking responsibility for the reality I create
Redefining the meaning of Life Expectancy
Putting myself at the center of my life
Discovering the power of radical acceptance
Learning to pause, breathe & listen more... react less
Individually unique yet deeply connected to all
Deciding not to confuse self-worth with feelings
Accepting and valuing all parts of myself
Becoming more present by healing from the past
Learning not to take disagreements so personally
Valuing equally mistakes and successes!
Accepting all feelings instead of picking favorites
Remembering I am safe, I matter, and I belong
Giving up senseless reflexes to defend and control
Allowing others to have realities different than mine
Respect: the minimum standard for all relationships
Unconditional respect makes intimacy possible.
Another unique expression of Life Energy
Perfectly imperfect human being inside
STOP doing, LOOK inward, LISTEN patiently, BE aware, ACT wisely, STOP assuming, SENSE freshly, HEAR concerns, BE curious, HOLD steady, STEP forward, STOP striving, SEE beyond, LISTEN silently, BE attuned, STEP beyond, STOP doubting, LOOK anew, BE open, FEEL into, STEP across, SEEK truth
Self-worth: independent of thoughts and feelings.
Inherently valuable human being, no matter what!
Transcending fear and insecurity every moment.
Safe, Valuable, & Connected... Faith not feelings.
Being together. Appreciating our moments.
Listening more. Reacting less.
Becoming aware of the reality I create.
Truth is experienced only in this moment.
Listening is the new doing.
Don't do something, keep listening.
Free to change. Accept, allow, move on.
Exposing myths permits change.
Refusing to adopt others myths.
Living my life, not anyone else's.
Awakening happens right now!
Here and now: Not a myth.
Recreating myself, moment to moment.
Love is ride sharing radical acceptance.
Falling together instead of apart.
Death = freedom from discomfort.
Discomfort: Being engaged with life.
Living: never done right or wrong.
Engaging Life: Hello discomfort!
Taking time to be myself.
Limitless! Timeless! Formless!
Ever changing. Count on it.
Be the change you seek!
Rigidity begins where curiosity ends.
Shame: Denying one's spiritual essence.
Reality shifts happen.
I create and maintain a familiar story.
Adjusting to a new operating system.
Life Energy: Forming freshly each moment.
I am today's version of my preferred operating system.
Redefining Life Expectancy... Appreciating this moment.
Having thoughts and feelings. Please respect them.
To love is to welcome and accept thoughts and feelings.
Suffering: taking thoughts and feelings personally.
Welcome to the State of Being--- Enjoy your stay
Blame is pain casting a shadow (over others) to hide itself.
Inherently valuable human being, no matter what!
Transcending fear and insecurity every moment.
Safe, Valuable, & Connected... Faith not feelings.
Being together. Appreciating our moments.
Listening more. Reacting less.
Becoming aware of the reality I create.
Truth is experienced only in this moment.
Listening is the new doing.
Don't do something, keep listening.
Free to change. Accept, allow, move on.
Exposing myths permits change.
Refusing to adopt others myths.
Living my life, not anyone else's.
Awakening happens right now!
Here and now: Not a myth.
Recreating myself, moment to moment.
Love is ride sharing radical acceptance.
Falling together instead of apart.
Death = freedom from discomfort.
Discomfort: Being engaged with life.
Living: never done right or wrong.
Engaging Life: Hello discomfort!
Taking time to be myself.
Limitless! Timeless! Formless!
Ever changing. Count on it.
Be the change you seek!
Rigidity begins where curiosity ends.
Shame: Denying one's spiritual essence.
Reality shifts happen.
I create and maintain a familiar story.
Adjusting to a new operating system.
Life Energy: Forming freshly each moment.
I am today's version of my preferred operating system.
Redefining Life Expectancy... Appreciating this moment.
Having thoughts and feelings. Please respect them.
To love is to welcome and accept thoughts and feelings.
Suffering: taking thoughts and feelings personally.
Welcome to the State of Being--- Enjoy your stay
Blame is pain casting a shadow (over others) to hide itself.
WHAT IF?...
...not who I think I am
Taking sides initiates conflict.
You are not your thoughts or feelings.
I am not really who I think I am.
I am not who I imagine myself to be.
Thoughts & feelings complicate each other.
Truth is never found within words.
Suffering is believing thought.
Dreamworlds are built by thought.
Grace arises from empty stillness.
Emptiness opens us to Grace.
Grace comes in unexpected forms.
Discomfort offers a place to learn.
Comfort is where we rest or hide.
Comfort & discomfort define each other.
Please disturb -- help me awaken.
All opposites define each other.
Definition limits an experience.
Sanity: knowing that I don't know.
Sanity: questioning my reality.
Insanity: believing one's thoughts.
Illusion: a world built of thought & feeling.
Hellucination: "That's just who I am!"
Jestification: "You left me no other choice!"
Peace: not taking thought & feeling seriously.
Self image: the illusion of who I believe I am.
Mentally disturbed: not questioning thought.
Mentally unstable: believing reality.
Treat me like you don't know me.
I am more understood by not being known.
Thinking less, understanding more.
The less I know the more I understand.
One cannot own land, only pay to care for it.
You are not your thoughts or feelings.
I am not really who I think I am.
I am not who I imagine myself to be.
Thoughts & feelings complicate each other.
Truth is never found within words.
Suffering is believing thought.
Dreamworlds are built by thought.
Grace arises from empty stillness.
Emptiness opens us to Grace.
Grace comes in unexpected forms.
Discomfort offers a place to learn.
Comfort is where we rest or hide.
Comfort & discomfort define each other.
Please disturb -- help me awaken.
All opposites define each other.
Definition limits an experience.
Sanity: knowing that I don't know.
Sanity: questioning my reality.
Insanity: believing one's thoughts.
Illusion: a world built of thought & feeling.
Hellucination: "That's just who I am!"
Jestification: "You left me no other choice!"
Peace: not taking thought & feeling seriously.
Self image: the illusion of who I believe I am.
Mentally disturbed: not questioning thought.
Mentally unstable: believing reality.
Treat me like you don't know me.
I am more understood by not being known.
Thinking less, understanding more.
The less I know the more I understand.
One cannot own land, only pay to care for it.
BEING AND BECOMING
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BE, I AM, LIVE
Just BE Just Be & Let Be Simply BE Simply Be SIMPLY Be Am SIMPLY Am Simply AM Simply Un-being my self Un-Be your self Simply LIVE Simply Stop Doing, Start Being Reality: Being and Becoming While You are Becoming Let go of any story Notice what you're sensing Behold each situation Trust what is transpiring While you are becoming Welcome every feeling Slow down all responding Query apprehension Say hello to judgement While you are becoming Stop & look & listen Acknowledge fearful thinking Sense beneath emotion Greet the unexpected While you are becoming Open to each moment Follow thought & feeling Recognize resistance Be with all discomfort While you are becoming Follow what's appearing Uncover reservation Witness each attachment Liberate life energy While you are becoming I am ... the courage I seek, my heart's desire, the love I seek, safe from harm, completely enough, a unique individual, connected to all, fully alive, not how I feel, sensing more & thinking less, inherently valuable, not my thoughts and feelings, not an object, being here now, embodying my true self Allowing Change: Searching ... Please wait, Limitless Timeless & Formless, Changing every moment, Rigidity begins where curiosity ends, Taking time to be myself, Falling together not apart |
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PARAPHRASING ADYASHANTI
Falling into Grace and Emptiness Dancing
 Paraphrased quotes from Falling into Grace. Click image to enlarge.
Grace sometimes has a fierce face. Slow your self down, even stop. Fully digest what you hear. I am never really in control. Truth is never found in the words. Suffering is believing what you think. A dreamworld is created of thoughts. Notice noise happening within silence. Human thought happens. I'm not really who I think I am. Who I am is an imaginary story. Stop creating a world from thought. Thought wants to be taken seriously. Suffering is attachment to thought. Disturbance is helpful for awakening. Sanity is knowing that I don't know I am not who I imagine myself to be. Thinking doesn't produce real answers. Self image: the illusion of who I think I am Happiness is not created by thought or feeling. Waking up is only possible in this moment. Identity is the past expressing itself in the present. Identity is conditioning unfolded and on display. Suffering is a vortex of thought & reactive emotion. Identity, self image, ego, & thought resist being. Thinking begets separation and isolation. Pushing away the mind impedes awakening. Struggling to change guarantees limitation. Instead of trying to change now, let now be. Cease arguing with what is, no matter what is felt. Unopposed experience brings stillness and peace. Peace and happiness arise when struggling stops. Complete surrender reveals existing consciousness. Relate to self from stillness - then to others. We are much vaster than mind, ego, or personality. Consciousness shrinks by struggling and striving. Trying to calm the self creates internal struggle. The real search isn't into anywhere other than now. Stand still and look clearly at your present experience. Imagine letting go of trying to make something happen? What if peace and stillness are already present? Mind innately drives to know conceive & create stories. Imagine no longer relying on thoughts ideas or stories. Awakening insight & revelation spring from silence. Conditioned to not listen deeply, we avoid silence. Believing the stories of the mind creates suffering. Liberation happens as we listen without believing. The path to knowing is through not knowing. The end of struggle begins a lived sense of not knowing. We are embodied spirit experiencing it's own mystery. We are pure potential containing every possible outcome. Everything, in its own way, is gift, an expression of spirit. Body is willing to let go of suffering but mind opposes it. Life without preconceptions reveals its magical qualities. Interpreting and evaluating experience generates conflict Self judging move us to the sidelines of our existence. Inspired thinking arises from unknowing awareness. |
 Paraphrased quotes from Emptiness Dancing. Click image to enlarge.
Awakeness is to have no script. Truth is who you are without your story "Me" & protection come in the same box You are openness with nothing to protect Open to True Nature directly by sensing Innocence looks curiously, asking "What is it?" Innocent curiosity moves toward all experience You are the mystery experiencing itself. Truth is the only thing that has no agenda There is no such thing as a true belief Be still and stop avoiding any part of experience The paradox is to know by not knowing Possibly the only fear greater than death is real love The true I am is free of anything I thought I was Allow the mystery of being to unfold experientially Dissolving identity delivers aliveness and presence. Waking up requires letting go of false views. True Love recognizes itself behind all masks. The True Self is not a form but the source of form. Emptiness is the substance of existence. Liberation happens when desire for control ends. Let go of any demand on the moment. Stop trying, Be still. Be the beauty of what you are. What you are cannot be acquired. It's impossible to figure out how to be, so stop trying. I am (your are) not a problem to be solved. Compassion does not seek to alter anything. See the wholeness in what surrounds you. What you hate is your teacher, so be with it. Enlightenment is demolition of what you know. All is one and you are the one, the ultimate source. In unity there is no such thing as an "other." Relationships based on separation are illusion. Wake up. Things are simply the way they are. I am an unfolding mystery in love with itself....an alive awake mystery that can't be touched or seen. Be willing to stay conscious to your unconsciousness. Awakeness is a deep love and caring for what is. Love is always throwing itself into the moment. Here you are what you want and want what you are. To be here, let go of who you think you are. Only the concept "me" thinks it needs enlightenment. Impermanence, or Truth, is the only continuous thing. Stillness of being arises when resistance to change stops. Permanence is endless, resistanceless motion. A fierce loyalty to Truth is a moment-to-moment choice. Feel this moment with a willingness to experience deeply There is a thread of love running through every moment. Through every experience you have always been loved. When really available to life there is a richness, a fullness |
RUMI'S WISDOM
The Guest House (adapted):
This being human is a guest house, Every morning a new arrival, A joy a depression a meanness, Some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor, Welcome and entertain them all!, Even if they are a crowd of sorrows who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, Still treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight. Dark thought.....Shame.....Malice....., Meet them at the door laughing and invite them in, Be grateful for whatever comes, Each has been sent as a guide from beyond.“The cure for pain is in the pain.”
Revelation requires unlearning everything.
“If you desire healing, let yourself fall ill.”
The roads differ but the destination is the same.
“Pain is a treasure, for it contains mercies.”
Open your arms knowing they will burn away.
Proceed knowing the Path will vanish under you.
“These pains you feel are messengers. Listen to them.”
The lampshades are different but the light is the same.
Give everything you are - knowing it is nothing,
“You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens.”
“What hurts you, blesses you. Darkness is your candle.”
"The moment you accept what troubles you've been given the door will open.”
Beyond ideas of right doing and wrong doing is a field. I will meet you there.
“This place is a dream. Only a sleeper considers it real. Then death comes like dawn, and you wake up laughing at what you thought was your grief.”
“God turns you from one feeling to another and teaches by means of opposites so that you will have two wings to fly, not one”
“Run from what's comfortable. Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious. I have tried prudent planning long enough. From now on I'll be mad.”
This being human is a guest house, Every morning a new arrival, A joy a depression a meanness, Some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor, Welcome and entertain them all!, Even if they are a crowd of sorrows who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, Still treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight. Dark thought.....Shame.....Malice....., Meet them at the door laughing and invite them in, Be grateful for whatever comes, Each has been sent as a guide from beyond.“The cure for pain is in the pain.”
Revelation requires unlearning everything.
“If you desire healing, let yourself fall ill.”
The roads differ but the destination is the same.
“Pain is a treasure, for it contains mercies.”
Open your arms knowing they will burn away.
Proceed knowing the Path will vanish under you.
“These pains you feel are messengers. Listen to them.”
The lampshades are different but the light is the same.
Give everything you are - knowing it is nothing,
“You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens.”
“What hurts you, blesses you. Darkness is your candle.”
"The moment you accept what troubles you've been given the door will open.”
Beyond ideas of right doing and wrong doing is a field. I will meet you there.
“This place is a dream. Only a sleeper considers it real. Then death comes like dawn, and you wake up laughing at what you thought was your grief.”
“God turns you from one feeling to another and teaches by means of opposites so that you will have two wings to fly, not one”
“Run from what's comfortable. Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious. I have tried prudent planning long enough. From now on I'll be mad.”
PARADOX AND FAITH/TRUST
Unlearning zone.
Doubting faith.
Faithfully doubting.
Doubting believer.
Constantly unlearning.
Reality is vastly overrated.
I certainly don't know.
Enlightened but oblivious.
Uncertainty is a sure thing.
Doubting my uncertainties.
Love does not impose conditions.
I am an enigma within a paradox.
Certain that I don't know.
Uncertain that you or I exist.
Having faith in what I can't know.
Surrendering to love is unconditional.
Reality is illusion. Illusion is reality.
Reality unquestioned is life half lived.
Losing & finding myself each moment
Enlightened but absorbed with other matters.
Enlightenment: Forgetful remembering.
Forgetting what I know inspires curiosity.
Illusions are the building blocks of reality.
Working through my night, dreaming through my day.
Faith: I am love, regardless of thoughts & feelings.
Secure, Valuable & Connected (despite what is thought or felt)
Love simply Is. It has no opposites and no limits.
Forgetting what I think. Becoming senile or enlightened.
Reality is illusion: ideas attached to perspectives anchored in the past.
Trust in:
Loving, Mystery, Intuition, Great Spirit, Life Energy, Stillness, Presence, Essence, Letting Go, Evolving, Inspiration, Silence, Providence, True Self, Conscience, The Source, Oneness, Emptiness, Higher Power, The Unknown, The Heart, Not Knowing, Inner Truth, The Body-Mind, The Divine Host, Holy Spirit
HIGHER POWER
God is no thing within every thing.
All life is God being.
Life is God. God is life.
All is One. One is All.
God has a part in every conversation.
God is the one that flows through all
God reappears every moment.
God is always in your waiting room.
Mind is too busy to listen to God.
Only God knows. God only knows.
God is not what I think.
God is beyond belief.
God cannot be defined.
God is Being. Being is God.
God is a verb without form.
God is energy transforming itself.
God is flowing life energy.
Life energy is God flowing.
All life is God being.
Life is God. God is life.
All is One. One is All.
God has a part in every conversation.
God is the one that flows through all
God reappears every moment.
God is always in your waiting room.
Mind is too busy to listen to God.
Only God knows. God only knows.
God is not what I think.
God is beyond belief.
God cannot be defined.
God is Being. Being is God.
God is a verb without form.
God is energy transforming itself.
God is flowing life energy.
Life energy is God flowing.
TRANSFORMATIVE WISDOM (Breakthrough Workshop for Men)
- Shedding personal distress one false belief at a time
- Taking responsibility for the reality I create
- Redefining the meaning of Life Expectancy
- Putting myself at the center of my life
- Discovering the power of radical acceptance
- Learning to pause breathe & listen more … react less
- Individually unique yet deeply connected to all
- Deciding not to confuse self-worth with feelings
- Accepting and valuing all parts of myself
- Becoming more present by healing from the past
- Learning not to take disagreements so personally
- Valuing equally mistakes and successes!
- Accepting all my feelings instead of picking favorites
- Remembering I am safe I matter and I belong
- Giving up senseless reflexes to defend and control
- Allowing others to have realities different than mine
EARLY CHILDHOOD NEEDS AND TRAUMA
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NEEDS: Attention, Affection, Comfort, Warmth, Protection, Nutrition, Security, Connection, Holding, Closeness, Safety, Valuing, Allowing, Appreciation, Patience TRAUMA: Aggression/Attack: invalidate, assault, overrule, quash, dishearten, murder, demoralize, depress, put off, unnerve, daunt, intimidate, crush, frighten, menace, terrify, terrorize, subdue, attack, threaten, browbeat, bully, pressure, harass, hassle, hound, torment, persecute, push, bulldoze, railroad, dominate, oppress, enslave, reject, refuse, dismiss, ban, subjugate, destroy, annihilate, torment, torture, cancel Disapproval: condemn, criticize, damn, denounce, dislike, detest, hate, loathe, oppose, disapprove, discount, disfavor, judge, distrust, doubt, question, suspect, challenge, dispute, disbelieve, discredit, reject, dismiss, refuse, deny, repudiate, spurn, contest, fight, oppose, resist, object, debate Inattentive: distracted, preoccupied, distraught, spaced-out, checked-out, impatient, unfocused, inattentive, self-absorbed, confused, bewildered, troubled, worried, anxious, foggy, hazy, lost, oblivious, removed, remote, apathetic, disinterested, uninterested, uncaring, absent, inhospitable, unkindly, impolite, rude, mean, hateful, spiteful, heedless, inconsiderate, thoughtless, distant, busy, pursuing addictions (numb, joke, work, exercise, blame, isolate, distract, gossip, idolize, medicate, drink, eat, fantasize, analyze, smoke, obsess, get high, ruminate, victimize, meditate, dramatize, dissociate, talk, pursue sex, sleep, retaliate, collect, masturbate, shop, gamble, consume, read, study, game, watch TV) Unaffectionate: cold, uncaring, reserved, aloof, remote, detached, elusive, unapproachable, withdrawn, distant, uncommunicative, absent, harsh, undemonstrative, unforthcoming, unresponsive, unfriendly, distracted, unwelcoming, forbidding, indifferent, unfeeling, unemotional, gruff, removed, vacant, unavailable, rejecting, disconnected, unaffectionate Fear provoking messages: risky, hazardous, treacherous, insecure, unsound, harmful, toxic, contaminated, unsure, painful, uncertain, threatening, hurtful, unsteady, unsure, suspicious, defective, faulty, sickly, crazy, foolish, contagious, evil, unreliable, trouble, weak, deceiving, savage, ferocious, untrustworthy, unpredictable, filthy, unhealthy, tricky, disturbing, defenseless, vulnerable, ominous, deadly, doubtful, unpredictable, misled, terrifying, unsupported, strange, unknown, foreign, unfamiliar, unsafe, dangerous Devaluing/Shaming messages: worthless, stupid, unlovable, no-good, careless, hopeless, selfish, ugly, bad, retarded, wrong, deformed, shameful, clueless, weakling, obnoxious, useless, thoughtless, broken, dull, boring, defective, inadequate, deficient, evil, helpless, inept, sickening, pathetic, dirty, disgraceful, rotten, lousy, inferior, incapable, lame, irrelevant, powerless, unfit, unimportant, disappointment, loser, foul, deplorable, despicable, bastard, bitch, contemptible, disgusting, horrible, unworthy, loathsome, rotten, hideous, inexcusable, unforgivable, lowdown, embarrassing, good-for-nothing, degenerate, shiftless, incompetent, idiotic, repulsive, insignificant, unwanted, awful, wimp Disconnection: Alone, Isolated, Lonely, Solitary, Deserted, Abandoned, Forsaken, Friendless, Jilted, Stranded, Rejected, Dumped, Ditched, Neglected, Segregated, Lonesome, Discarded, Excluded, Shunned, Left out, Lost, Forgotten, Renounced, Disowned, Unwanted, Unfit, Unwelcome, Undesirable, Undesired, Unpopular, Deplorable, Unlovable, Unacceptable, Intolerable, Uninvited, Unloved, Unneeded, Untouched, Untouchable, Repulsive, Ignored, Invisible, Unseen, Unheard, Unattractive |
DUALISTIC, DISTINGUISHING, DEFINING MIND
Attachment: attach, favor, pursue, prefer, like, embrace, grasp, desire, want, attract, draw in
Avoidance: hate, reject, detach, remove, withdraw, flee, detest, exclude, repel, push away, avoid
Dualities: GOOD/EVIL, RIGHT/WRONG, BETTER/WORSE, SUPERIOR/INFERIOR, STRONG/WEAK, PRIDE/SHAME, ALIVE/DEAD, AHEAD/BEHIND, HEAVEN/HELL, TRUE/FALSE, LIGHT/DARK, LIKE/DISLIKE, COMFORT/DISCOMFORT, SAFE/UNSAFE, WINNER/LOSER, SUCCESS/FAILURE, NICE/NAUGHTY
Negatives: EVIL, WRONG, WORSE, INFERIOR, WEAK, SHAMEFUL, DEAD, DISTURBING, HELLISH, FALSE, HEAVY, HATE, DISCOMFORT, UNSAFE, DEFEATED, FAILURE, NAUGHTY, WORTHLESS, DIFFICULT, IRRITATING, REPULSIVE, DARK, EXCLUDED, LESS, REJECTED, INVISIBLE, PUNISHING, STRESSED, NEGATIVE
Positives: GOOD, RIGHT, BETTER, SUPERIOR, STRONG, PROUD, ALIVE, PEACEFUL, HEAVENLY, TRUE, LIGHT, LIKE, COMFORT, SAFE, VICTORIOUS, SUCCESSFUL, NICE, VALUABLE, EASY, PLEASANT, ATTRACTIVE, BRIGHT, INCLUDED, ACCEPTED, VISIBLE, REWARDING, RELAXED, POSITIVE, MORE
MAGICAL AND CONDITIONAL THINKING
It is all about me, I make it all happen, Something I do causes it, What about me?, I want it my way, It is all my doing, I need it right now, If only I ___ then it will happen, It's all because of me, It's all my fault!
If ___ then I will be safe, If ___ then I will have value, If ___ then I will belong, If ___ then I will feel satisfied, If ___ then I will be secure, If ___ then I will matter, If ___ then I will be accepted, If ___ then I will get noticed, If ___ then I will be appreciated, If ___ then I will get affection, If ___ then I will be respected, If ___ then I will feel relief
If only I do..., If only I say..., then I will feel..., then things will change, then it will stop..., If only I think..., If only I feel..., then he would know..., If only I act..., If only I try..., If only I stop..., then she might feel..., then they will..., If only I don't..., then they might..., If only I believe..., then they won't think..., If only I pretend..., then it will get better..., If only I act like..., then it will happen
If ___ then I will be safe, If ___ then I will have value, If ___ then I will belong, If ___ then I will feel satisfied, If ___ then I will be secure, If ___ then I will matter, If ___ then I will be accepted, If ___ then I will get noticed, If ___ then I will be appreciated, If ___ then I will get affection, If ___ then I will be respected, If ___ then I will feel relief
If only I do..., If only I say..., then I will feel..., then things will change, then it will stop..., If only I think..., If only I feel..., then he would know..., If only I act..., If only I try..., If only I stop..., then she might feel..., then they will..., If only I don't..., then they might..., If only I believe..., then they won't think..., If only I pretend..., then it will get better..., If only I act like..., then it will happen
INHERENT HUMAN QUALITIES
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Valuable, Tender, Thoughtful, Trusting, Trustworthy, Able, Understanding, Wise, Worthy, Humble, Enthusiastic, Loyal, Determined, Generous, Receptive, Adventurous, Daring, Clever, Unique, Attentive, Accepting, Appreciative, Affectionate, Courageous, Attractive, Innocent, Brilliant, Caring, Compassionate, Confident, Connected, Creative, Curious, Decisive, Deserving, Enthusiastic, Expressive, Flexible, Forgiving, Gentle, Helpful, Honest, Hopeful, Funny, Imaginative, Important, Intelligent, Intuitive, Nurturing, Open, Passionate, Patient, Peaceful, Playful, Powerful, Protective, Proud, Responsible, Secure, Sensitive, Sensual, Spirited, Strong
Childlike/youthful qualities: open, sensitive, curious, playful, receptive, instinctive, feeling, observant, vulnerable, trusting, adaptive, reflexive, captivated, wild, sensuous, energetic, primitive, magical, responsive, emotive, visceral, sensate, engaged, fascinated, delighted, boundless Qualities of Presence: Grounded, Welcoming, Curious, Attentive, Inviting, Friendly, Calm, Observant, Engaged, Patient, Compassionate, Accepting, Empathetic, Receptive, Understanding, Caring, Affectionate, Appreciative, Grateful, Encouraging, Allowing, Peaceful, Delighted, Warm Medicine Wheel Directional Qualities: South (emotional): Innocent, Compassionate, Intuitive, Humble, Curious, Emotional, Sensitive, Trusting, Observant, Energetic, Sensuous, Vulnerable, Receptive, Alert, Fallible, Unguarded, Responsive, Instinctive, Visceral, Sympathetic, Flexible, Playful, Open West (physical): Attentive, Secure, Introspective, Vigorous, Strong, Patient, Nurturing, Courageous, Absorbed, Persistent, Resilient, Determined, Bold, Changing, Assured, Assertive, Confident, Tenacious, Valiant, Steadfast, Dauntless, Robust North (mental): Thoughtful, Decisive, Honest, Wise, Fair, Intelligent, Dependable, Analytical, Candid, Clear, Disciplined, Forthright, Reflective, Prudent, Just, Impartial, Reliable, Sensible, Judicious, Balanced, Reasonable, Methodical, Insightful East (spiritual): Creative, Beautiful, Joyful, Inspired, Grateful, Adventurous, Visionary, Wondrous, Delighted, Imaginative, Fluid, Artistic, Thankful, Daring, Dynamic, Intrepid, Ingenious, Clever, Inventive, Appreciative, Resourceful, Aspiring Community: all for one, one for all, cooperate, collaborate, exchange, serve others, work with, accept service, work with, join in, get together, unite, combine, be generous, show up, communicate, network, combine with, team up, participate, engage with, be part of, partake in, lend a hand, associate, get involved, share in, take a role, assist in, link together, contribute, pitch in, be of service, interact, offer thanks, notice others, encourage, tolerate, reach out, give attention, listen well, respect all, empower, welcome all, value diversity, liberate, educate, care for, care about, work with, be supportive, be responsible, be accountable, side by side, teamwork |
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FEELINGS/EMOTIONS AND INTERNALIZED BELIEFS
Disturbing: angry, sad, afraid, hurt, lonely, ashamed, restless, helpless, confused, numb, frustrated, depressed, jealous, anxious, worried, small, nervous, embarrassed, impatient, stuck, furious, irritated, powerless, suspicious, scared, shocked, puzzled, bored, hesitant, shaky, enraged, empty, insecure, hopeless, isolated, grumpy, uneasy, lost, overwhelmed, foggy, mad, paralyzed, grieving, worried, stressed, unsettled, frightened, distraught, weak
Vulnerable: small, weak, powerless, defenseless, timid, insignificant, unprotected, helpless, alone, needy, lost, incapable, overwhelmed, scared, sensitive, tender, unguarded, vulnerable, fragile, dependent
Feeling states: thankful, calm, energetic, angry, sad, afraid, hurt, lonely, ashamed, restless, helpless, confused, numb, frustrated, anxious, worried, small, nervous, embarrassed, stuck, furious, irritated, powerless, resentful, scared, shocked, bored, enraged, empty, hopeless, lost, shameful, paralyzed, resentful, relaxed, peaceful, content, proud, playful, delighted, rested, tired, pleased, confident, grateful, excited, joyful, euphoric, relieved, satisfied
False Beliefs: Inadequate, Deficient, Heartless, Unimportant, Dishonest, Defective, Disengaged, Oppressive, Repulsive, Pathetic, Unattractive, Distant, Unreliable, Dangerous, Impulsive, Crazy, Invisible, Helpless, Destructive, Undesirable, Insignificant, Dangerous, Wrong, Evil, Misfit, Rejecting, Undeserving, Worthless, Stupid, Uncaring, Disconnected, Unlovable, Critical, Selfish, Ugly, Shameful, Inconsiderate, Hurtful, Outcast, Clueless, Lazy, Spiteful, Offensive, Unstable, Judgmental, Fearful, Weak, Obnoxious, Useless, Reckless, Unfair, Careless, Mean, Cold, Insensitive, Thoughtless, Broken, Timid, Inflexible, Boring
Vulnerable: small, weak, powerless, defenseless, timid, insignificant, unprotected, helpless, alone, needy, lost, incapable, overwhelmed, scared, sensitive, tender, unguarded, vulnerable, fragile, dependent
Feeling states: thankful, calm, energetic, angry, sad, afraid, hurt, lonely, ashamed, restless, helpless, confused, numb, frustrated, anxious, worried, small, nervous, embarrassed, stuck, furious, irritated, powerless, resentful, scared, shocked, bored, enraged, empty, hopeless, lost, shameful, paralyzed, resentful, relaxed, peaceful, content, proud, playful, delighted, rested, tired, pleased, confident, grateful, excited, joyful, euphoric, relieved, satisfied
False Beliefs: Inadequate, Deficient, Heartless, Unimportant, Dishonest, Defective, Disengaged, Oppressive, Repulsive, Pathetic, Unattractive, Distant, Unreliable, Dangerous, Impulsive, Crazy, Invisible, Helpless, Destructive, Undesirable, Insignificant, Dangerous, Wrong, Evil, Misfit, Rejecting, Undeserving, Worthless, Stupid, Uncaring, Disconnected, Unlovable, Critical, Selfish, Ugly, Shameful, Inconsiderate, Hurtful, Outcast, Clueless, Lazy, Spiteful, Offensive, Unstable, Judgmental, Fearful, Weak, Obnoxious, Useless, Reckless, Unfair, Careless, Mean, Cold, Insensitive, Thoughtless, Broken, Timid, Inflexible, Boring
INSECURITY, SURVIVAL MIND AND SECURITY ADAPTATIONS
Basic Insecurities: Deficiency, Inadequacy, Disconnection, Inability, Disrespect, Insignificance, Abandonment, Impotence, Weakness, Instability, Vulnerability, Uncertainty, Rejection, Exclusion, Defectiveness, Insufficiency, Exposure, Helplessness, Infirmity, Powerlessness, Disgrace, Humiliation, Mortality, Scarcity, Disorder, Fragility, Failure, Injury, Ignorance
Personal reality ingredients: Observation, Thought, Feeling, Memory, Meaning, Experience, Judgement, Sensation, Belief, Insecurity, Sensitivity, Habits, Instinct, Ignorance, Reflex, Emotion, Longing, Expectation, History, Perspective, Intuition, Demeanor, Expectation, History, Intuition, Conditioning, Tradition, Attitude, Reflex, Familiarity, Comfort, Discomfort, Interpretation, Imprinting,
Survival Mind: strain, stress, trouble, bother, disturb, distress, upset, concern, disquiet, fret, agitate, unsettle, perturb, scare, fluster, stress, tax, torment, plague, bedevil, burden, gnaw at, rattle, dig at, nag, saddle, annoy, irritate, upset, worry, plague, pester, badger, hound, harass
Security Adaptations: Accomplishment, Notoriety, Subservience, Mastery, Heroism, Knowledge, Productivity, Toughness, Resourcefulness, Perseverance, Popularity, Inventiveness, Achievement, Loyalism, Bravery, Creativity, Confidence, Romanticism, Aggressiveness, Invisibility, Unflappability, Jocularity, Athleticism, Invulnerability, Obedience, Defiance, Dependability, Amusement, Intelligence, Charisma, Visibility, Nurturance, Wealth, Supportiveness, Artfulness, Shrewdness, Cunning, Charm, Ambition, Enthusiasm, Daring, Boldness, Vigilance, Industry, Craft, Determination, Heroism, Selflessness, Strength, Agility, Originality, Discrimination
Addiction Behaviors: work, exercise, blame, isolate, distract, gossip, idolize, medicate, drink, eat, fantasize, analyze, smoke, obsess, get high, ruminate, victimize, meditate, dramatize, dissociate, talk, pursue sex, sleep, retaliate, collect, masturbate, shop, gamble, consume, read, study, game, watch TV, numb, criticize, tease, joke, etc.
Personal reality ingredients: Observation, Thought, Feeling, Memory, Meaning, Experience, Judgement, Sensation, Belief, Insecurity, Sensitivity, Habits, Instinct, Ignorance, Reflex, Emotion, Longing, Expectation, History, Perspective, Intuition, Demeanor, Expectation, History, Intuition, Conditioning, Tradition, Attitude, Reflex, Familiarity, Comfort, Discomfort, Interpretation, Imprinting,
Survival Mind: strain, stress, trouble, bother, disturb, distress, upset, concern, disquiet, fret, agitate, unsettle, perturb, scare, fluster, stress, tax, torment, plague, bedevil, burden, gnaw at, rattle, dig at, nag, saddle, annoy, irritate, upset, worry, plague, pester, badger, hound, harass
Security Adaptations: Accomplishment, Notoriety, Subservience, Mastery, Heroism, Knowledge, Productivity, Toughness, Resourcefulness, Perseverance, Popularity, Inventiveness, Achievement, Loyalism, Bravery, Creativity, Confidence, Romanticism, Aggressiveness, Invisibility, Unflappability, Jocularity, Athleticism, Invulnerability, Obedience, Defiance, Dependability, Amusement, Intelligence, Charisma, Visibility, Nurturance, Wealth, Supportiveness, Artfulness, Shrewdness, Cunning, Charm, Ambition, Enthusiasm, Daring, Boldness, Vigilance, Industry, Craft, Determination, Heroism, Selflessness, Strength, Agility, Originality, Discrimination
Addiction Behaviors: work, exercise, blame, isolate, distract, gossip, idolize, medicate, drink, eat, fantasize, analyze, smoke, obsess, get high, ruminate, victimize, meditate, dramatize, dissociate, talk, pursue sex, sleep, retaliate, collect, masturbate, shop, gamble, consume, read, study, game, watch TV, numb, criticize, tease, joke, etc.
FORMS OF DEFENSE/PROTECTION, CONTROL, & AGGRESSION
Defense/Protection: protect, safeguard, preserve, defend, shield, insulate, screen, secure, resist, fortify, barricade, uphold, support, oppose, fight, object, defy, obstruct, block, thwart, object, reject, combat, avoid, shun, evade, elude, exclude, hide, ignore, shelter, head off, defy, battle, deny, hide, conceal, disguise, forbid, prohibit, deter, interfere, block, prevent, ward off, shut down, halt, stop, deflect, wall in, evade, escape, close off, counter, choke, quash, turn back, check, push back, shame
Controlling/Guarding: dampen, question, manage, direct, safeguard, preserve, ignore, fortify, guard, survey, uphold, support, govern, contain, impede, withstand, weather, endure, hedge, withhold, inspect, impede, hinder, beware, steer, restrain, curb, contain, suppress, repress, limit, curb,restrict, constrain, control, oversee, organize, doubt, guide, manipulate, regulate, discourage, inhibit, arrange, minimize, plan, prepare, distract, modify, reduce, discount, retard, sidestep, doubt, justify, rationalize, shame
Aggression/Attack: eliminate, invalidate, assault, overrule, quash, dishearten, murder, demoralize, depress, unnerve, daunt, intimidate, crush, frighten, menace, terrify, terrorize, subdue, attack, threaten, browbeat, bully, pressure, harass, hassle, hound, torment, persecute, shove, bulldoze, railroad, dominate, oppress, enslave, dismiss, ban, subjugate, destroy, annihilate, torment, torture, bulldoze, insult, trick, disrespect, rape, enslave, violate, deride, berate, tease, beat down, spurn, rebuke, castigate, shame, hate, insult, sneer, denigrate, vilify, beat up, pick apart, reproach, scorn, mock, ridicule, taunt, cut down, disdain, jeer, shun, revile, repudiate, loathe, oppress, defile, despise, banish, belittle, defame, degrade, deprecate, disparage, discredit, discard, betray, backstab
Bullying: attack, oppress, intimidate, torment, shame, slander, exclude, insult, humiliate, torture, browbeat, harass, dominate, defame, assault, beat up taunt, mock put down, shut out, shun, bait, deride, persecute, tease, pick on, strong-arm, trick, ridicule, embarrass
Rejection/Disapproval: condemn, criticize, damn, denounce, dislike, detest, hate, loathe, oppose, disapprove, discount, disfavor, judge, distrust, doubt, question, suspect, rebuke, dismiss, discredit, reject, refuse, deny, repudiate, spurn, contest, fight, oppose, resist, object, debate
Controlling/Guarding: dampen, question, manage, direct, safeguard, preserve, ignore, fortify, guard, survey, uphold, support, govern, contain, impede, withstand, weather, endure, hedge, withhold, inspect, impede, hinder, beware, steer, restrain, curb, contain, suppress, repress, limit, curb,restrict, constrain, control, oversee, organize, doubt, guide, manipulate, regulate, discourage, inhibit, arrange, minimize, plan, prepare, distract, modify, reduce, discount, retard, sidestep, doubt, justify, rationalize, shame
Aggression/Attack: eliminate, invalidate, assault, overrule, quash, dishearten, murder, demoralize, depress, unnerve, daunt, intimidate, crush, frighten, menace, terrify, terrorize, subdue, attack, threaten, browbeat, bully, pressure, harass, hassle, hound, torment, persecute, shove, bulldoze, railroad, dominate, oppress, enslave, dismiss, ban, subjugate, destroy, annihilate, torment, torture, bulldoze, insult, trick, disrespect, rape, enslave, violate, deride, berate, tease, beat down, spurn, rebuke, castigate, shame, hate, insult, sneer, denigrate, vilify, beat up, pick apart, reproach, scorn, mock, ridicule, taunt, cut down, disdain, jeer, shun, revile, repudiate, loathe, oppress, defile, despise, banish, belittle, defame, degrade, deprecate, disparage, discredit, discard, betray, backstab
Bullying: attack, oppress, intimidate, torment, shame, slander, exclude, insult, humiliate, torture, browbeat, harass, dominate, defame, assault, beat up taunt, mock put down, shut out, shun, bait, deride, persecute, tease, pick on, strong-arm, trick, ridicule, embarrass
Rejection/Disapproval: condemn, criticize, damn, denounce, dislike, detest, hate, loathe, oppose, disapprove, discount, disfavor, judge, distrust, doubt, question, suspect, rebuke, dismiss, discredit, reject, refuse, deny, repudiate, spurn, contest, fight, oppose, resist, object, debate
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Uncomfortable feeling/thought patterns
abandonment/rejection: alone, isolated, lonely, solitary, deserted, abandoned, forsaken, friendless, jilted, stranded, rejected, dumped, ditched, neglected, segregated, lonesome, discarded, excluded, shunned, left out, lost, forgotten, renounced, disowned, unwanted, unfit, unwelcome, undesirable, undesired, unpopular, deplorable, unlovable, unacceptable, intolerable, uninvited, unloved, unneeded, untouched, untouchable, repulsive, ignored, invisible, unseen, unheard, unattractive
anger: angry, frustrated, impatient, stuck, irritated, enraged, grumpy, mad, hot, resentful, pissed off
sadness: sad, depressed, grieving, low, hurting, pained, down, crestfallen, disappointed, dismayed, distraught, empty
fear: afraid, fearful, anxious, worried, nervous, powerless, helpless, suspicious, uneasy, shaky hesitant, shocked, insecure, hopeless. overwhelmed, paralyzed, stressed, unsettled, frightened, weak, small
numb: numb, paralyzed, empty, foggy, disembodied, confusion, overwhelm, shocked,
anger: angry, frustrated, impatient, stuck, irritated, enraged, grumpy, mad, hot, resentful, pissed off
sadness: sad, depressed, grieving, low, hurting, pained, down, crestfallen, disappointed, dismayed, distraught, empty
fear: afraid, fearful, anxious, worried, nervous, powerless, helpless, suspicious, uneasy, shaky hesitant, shocked, insecure, hopeless. overwhelmed, paralyzed, stressed, unsettled, frightened, weak, small
numb: numb, paralyzed, empty, foggy, disembodied, confusion, overwhelm, shocked,