Take charge of your perception of present moment reality by slowing down, breathing slowly, and affirming that you are OK as you are, even though you may be having some insecure thoughts, feelings or bodily reactions, which tend to feel uncomfortable. The more we can acknowledge and tolerate such discomfort, and see it as normal and healthy, the more present we can be for ourselves and others.  Over time, practicing a positive mindset will result in less and less regression and reactivity during stressful situations.

We are born into the world with survival instincts that revolve around seemingly insatiable needs to be physically secure, to have value or purpose, and to belong to a community.  As we grow and develop, these basic insecurities serve as drives to adapt in order to satisfy these needs.  In the process we develop strengths, talents, skills, capabilities, achievements, and relationships that are useful for individual and group survival.  And yet, when stressed or  threatened, we easily revert back to primitive feelings of vulnerability and reactive thought and behavior patterns that are typical of early childhood.  This can be especially problematic during relationship challenges when both parties are feeling insecure.