The human mind-body operating system embodies life experience by cross linking elements of thought, feeling, and action.  Awareness of how we operate is the doorway into understanding ourselves and relationships with others.  We unawarely took on a self-identity and storyline that we reflexively operate within, a brilliant design of evolution, that helps us unconsciously navigate familiar conditions.  Yet our minds also possess the amazing capacity to be self aware and self reflect, in other words to observe the thoughts, feelings, and actions it is generating.  This provides us with abilities to adapt, adjust, or change how we operate, i.e. shift into new ways of thinking, feeling, and acting, when venturing into the unfamiliar.

Our mind's default operating system is driven by fear for our security - not being safe, not mattering, not belonging.  It instinctively doubts each of these and generates feelings that motivate actions to address perceived problems.  By stepping outside of this insecure, judging, mindset and simply being present with what is, we enter a field of non-judgmental awareness and experience the LOVE we are.

Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing,
There is a field. I'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
The world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase each other
Doesn't make any sense.
RUMI

Take charge of your perception of present moment reality by slowing down, breathing slowly, and affirming that you are OK as you are, even though you may be having some insecure thoughts, feelings or bodily reactions, which tend to feel uncomfortable. The more we can acknowledge and tolerate such discomfort, and see it as normal and healthy, the more present we can be for ourselves and others.  Over time, practicing a positive mindset will result in less and less regression and reactivity during stressful situations.

We are born into the world with survival instincts that revolve around seemingly insatiable needs to be physically secure, to have value or purpose, and to belong to a community.  As we grow and develop, these drive us to adapt in attempt to satisfy these needs.  In the process strengths, talents, skills, capabilities, achievements, and relationships develop that prove useful for individual and group survival.  By design, when stressed or threatened, we often revert back to primitive feelings of vulnerability and reactive thought and behavior patterns typical of early childhood.  This can be especially problematic during relationship challenges when both parties are feeling insecure.

By offering unconditional love to all thoughts, feelings, and actions, in the forms shown in the 5 step pyramid above, you nurture and rebuild your sense of self.  Relate to your child self by recalling distant memories and imagining your present day self appearing to offer compassionate support during adverse situations where it was needed but lacking.  Repeating such visualizations of loving support many times is the process of re-parenting your child self.