11/6/2023 0 Comments Got SHAME? No doubt!Shame: a form of escape that cannot be escaped
Shame is one way our human bodies feel a perceived loss of any one of the three essential pillars of survival: connection, value, or physical security. It is a very strong feeling state that is inextricably linked to our social nature, which undoubtedly evolved to help human beings enhance group protection, productivity, and procreation. It can become a deeply disturbing feeling when a person senses that he or she does not "fit in" or have a valued place in a group. The body reacts to "escape" it by actively seeking ways to elevate one's status within the group or serves as motivation to leave to form/join another group. Or it can be more passively communicated through physical/emotional expression and behavior, which may elicit empathetic responses from others.
With the growth of hierarchical societies, however, human beings' proclivity to feeling and reacting to shame became a convenient avenue of influencing (promoting or discouraging) their attitudes, actions, and, ultimately, their sense of self. Our institutions of business and industry have likewise built themselves around threats and promises that amplify fears and longings related to shame. The result is a shame-based culture. It should be no surprise, then, that we relate more to life through our suffering than our joy. Most addictions serve as an attempt to relieve ourselves from one discomfort or another, making the point of life to escape from suffering. LOVE leads us to joy through our suffering
BUT HOW??? This is really challenging without a supportive group of fellow human beings and without a regular practice that can help us to "rewire" or "reprogram" our minds and bodies. Our bodies evolved to function best within groups of other human beings surrounded by the natural world, not as isolated individuals in "self-contained" cocoons or small family units. Our bodies also evolved to be extremely adaptable. This means that, over a period of time, we can effectively shift patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving. We can transcend ingrained ways of defining ourselves in relation to shame or fear of shame. Will, choice, & practice it takes.
For more detail, view the Sense-a-Books displayed in the right hand column of this page or visit the Books/Resources page of this website.
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11/3/2023 0 Comments Highly Recommended Book!Compassionate insight into the "addictive personality"I downloaded and read The Answer Model, A New Path to Healing (2010), by John Montgomery and Todd Ritchey, and found much of what it offers as being very helpful and probably quite true. It basically suggests that nearly all mental/psych dysfunction is related to addiction to the neuro-chemical effects of feeling states that evolved long ago to enable the human species to survive and procreate in a hunter-gatherer society context. We are essentially suffering from a mismatch between our biological design and the world we have created for ourselves which makes it extremely difficult to achieve and maintain internal homeostasis (equanimity). Montgomery's series of 6 short articles in Psychology Today entitled The Embodied Mind also provides a good overview of his viewpoint and approach: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-embodied-mind
11/1/2023 0 Comments Simply Love Simply!LOVE is not what you think!
It seems out of "character" for mortal humans to be unconditionally loving. That is because it is natural for us to utilize built-in instincts, especially "survival mind," as the basis for thinking, feeling, and behaving, i.e. creating our "reality." Yet there is a capacity in all of us to transcend this operating system that relies on defining, judging, and reacting based on perceptions of contrast. When we decide to stop identifying with this approach and, instead, adopt an all-inclusive attitude of attending (noticing), accepting, appreciating (thanking), embracing (holding), and allowing whatever is experienced arising in our selves and others we discover how simple LOVE can be.
The images below illustrate this empathic and compassionate approach. Of course, since our minds and bodies are not accustomed to this approach, it will seem uncomfortable or disorienting at first. With regular practice (see the Books/Resources page for more information) it will begin to seem quite natural, and will open up a whole new way of being human, one without limitation, one grounded in faith. FAITH I did not expect to attempt this dance. Not much about it interests me. Yet life always has a different plan Than the one I imagine for myself. So I give myself over to the choreography And dance the unfamiliar steps again and again, often feeling unsure, foolish, or inept, Until one day, the movements flowing with ease, I realize the dance had been created Just for me. |
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